Dear America: Donald Trump is the candidate you deserve

C'mon, America. Or should I say 'Murica? You knew this was coming. It was inevitable. There's no way of Earf. Yes, on God's green Earf you would get away with some most heinous vile racist divisive rhetoric throughout your whole entire history without eventually getting a Donald Trump as a frontrunner for the highest office in the land. You made the Trump. You are him and he is you.  This country is built on systemic racism. This country is built on consumerism. This country is built on the idea of self and individualism. It thrives on spending and the exaltation of money over everything. Money over health. Money over relationships. Money over family time. Money over policy. Money as policy. Money as politics. 

This is what we breed. 

The Trump is our collective excrement. And everywhere we turn we've told ourselves that our shit is worth something. But more than that, that our shit should define us. It should define our worth, our objectives. We teach our kids to love the shit - to pursue it at the cost of crushing debt. Because the true cost of shit is debt. We like shit so much that we're willing to be in constant debt behind it. 

What kind of debt are we willing to be in behind the Trump's shit? 

What bothers me most about Trump is like most of America, he's bought into his own shit. On some level, much like other similar shit Americans have bred, like Joel Osteen, he believes in his own stench. And he truly believes he's in America's best interest. Because he's been validated by riches, wealth, influence, material things, and young attractive pussy. 

Long live the real American Dream.  

It's your fault. It's our fault. But this day was inevitable. Now we all have to deal with it. 

My son is 4. He has trouble wiping his own ass at times. Not with the process, but with the thoroughness. I don't mind helping out, because he's only four and learning how to deal with your own shit is ongoing process. But as his father, my job is make sure I raise a person who is capable of dealing with his own shit. And on most days, I'm never privy to his excrement. He's getting pretty good at his newfound responsibility. It's a part of his process of maturity of which I'm terribly grateful for after years of diaper duty. 

It's time America grows the fuck up and learns how to deal with our own shit. Because I guarantee you the world won't appreciate constantly wiping after us if the Trump is elevated into a position where he's able to legally shit on the rest of Earf. 

It's just rude of us. So let's stop acting like we're surprised at what we've created while living in our bubble of self-indulgence for all these decades. 

Given who we are and what we value, Donald Trump is the candidate we deserve. It's time to be better a people, and wipe our own ass.